“Let all that you do be done in love”

By Bishop Brian Maas

That phrase comes from the guiding text chosen by the Nebraska Synod staff, from 1 Corinthians 16: “Keep alert, stand firm in your faith, be courageous, be strong.  Let all that you do be done in love.” In the work we do—and to be honest, in the daily living in community that most of us do—there is no way to do things in love if we aren’t alert to God’s presence, grounded in faith, and courageous and strong in carrying out our tasks.

We live in a generation addicted to “liking” things. Social media abounds with button-click “likes.” Few of us are unaware of, or unaffected by, how many “likes” a post gets. But wanting to be liked isn’t new, especially among good church folk, and particularly among their leaders. For the most part, we pastors really like to be liked. And the church needs that, to a point—it’s hard to be led well by sociopaths. There are skills that help make us likable, and those skills make for more effective care, communication and leadership.

Trouble is, being liked is a two-edged sword. Far more so in our territory, where “Nebraska Nice” is a complement and a curse. We all want to be liked (well, almost all).  That makes us vulnerable to people—even, sometimes especially, church people—who become skilled in telling us they don’t like us, that “lots of people” don’t like us, and that the likable niceness of our congregation is threatened by what pastor/leader/fill-in-the-blank is doing and how they’re doing it.

We live at a difficult intersection—when the anxiety of decline in our congregations (and the church at large) runs into our culture’s new permission, even expectation, of individuals being jerks in public. Common civility used to be enough to keep potential bullies at bay. No more. And people prone to bullying can sense when (a) being liked is really important to individuals and communities, and (b) there is shared anxiety to exploit.  

This much is not new. There were bullies in the Apostle Paul’s congregations. They’re hard to change. What can change is our response. If we are committed to loving rather than mere liking, we can endure a higher level of anxiety. If we are alert to God’s presence and grounded in our faith, we can bear being not liked, even attacked. If we are courageous and strong, we can stand up to threats.

No, it’s not easy. But show me easy in the phrase, “deny yourself and take up your cross.” Being a disciple of Jesus Christ is not easy. Faith is not easy. Love is not easy. But love is wonderful. Faith and discipleship, knowing God’s constant presence and finding courage and strength in it; that too is wonderful.

We live in a world filled with (and are sometimes ourselves) Sunday-morning “followers” of Jesus, who “like” him when it’s convenient. Our calling is to be every-day disciples, who love him—and his world—especially when it’s difficult. The more we live into the latter, the freer we are to respond to anxiety with hope, and to respond to bullies with resolve. Jesus loves even the jerks. But that doesn’t mean he likes how they act. Or expects the rest of us to put up with it.

So practice likability; it’s good for you. But keep alert for God’s presence. Stand firm in your faith. Be courageous and strong. Let all that you do be done in love.